Got gas?

I'm completely oblivious as to what the gas situation is in the US right now, but I can guarantee by the end of this post, you'll be slightly more content and grateful. First off, let's have a vocabulary lesson:
gas = diesel fuel -> used in some vehicles but primarily for generators
petrol = petroleum ->used in most vehicles and motorbikes
kero= kerosene ->used with some stoves and lanterns; also helpful in starting a fire to burn your trash.
foil (pigeon english of fuel) = usually referring to petrol. However a "foil station" could have gas, petrol, and kero

Now, for reasons that I’m still trying to figure out, fuel has become scarce in Jos lately. This is quite ironic because Nigeria is the 6^th largest exporter of crude oil in the world. Problem is, there aren’t refineries, so most of the oil goes out to other nations who can refine it and make it available for all those wonderful SUV’s. Not going there. Anyways, fuel’s not easy to come by. I start to notice the lines at the fueling stations are getting long but I don’t think about it early enough one day and by the afternoon, my needle was dipping pretty low. Thankfully, there are these delightful men along the side of the road who sell foil in small quantities...this is the black market. Certain fueling stations mysteriously always have foil, but they charge more have a bit of a sketchy nature, and are termed “black market” as well. Not sure what the most moral thing would have been to do, but I bit the bullet, stopped at one of these places and paid 600 naira for a gallon of petrol on the black market. Normal prices are 70 naira/liter so that's over double regular price (4 liters in a gallon = 280 naira). With $1=N117, we're talking $5.13/gal! Feeling better yet? Let's keep going... I wouldn't want to deprive you of more joy :) Fueling at the black market looks like this: Dude fills up his 25 litre jug from a big barrel. Then he sticks a hose from the jug into my tank. THEN he covers the mouth of the jug with HIS mouth, blows into it, and thus creates the needed pressure to run the fuel into my truck. I watched as this man had a ring of petrol around his mouth and thought to myself, “Kai! How many times does he do this a day?? That CAN’T be good for him!” After that, I didn’t feel AS bad about paying N600/litre.

Well, I didn’t fill up so the next morning I made plans. I got up at 6am, thinking I'd get towards the front of the line at my favorite foil station so when the gate opened @ 7, I'd be in and out. The line was already 2km long when I got there @ 6:30 (see above picture taken while driving past it). Rolling the dice, I continued driving up towards the next town, Bukuru, hoping people weren't early risers there like they are in Jos. Indeed, I found a station who’s line was still mostly contained within its gate. I still turned around a couple times to figure out where the entrance and exit were, but eventually secured my spot in the que. Not to be one to waste time, I bought 2 books and my journal along with me. Almost more entertaining than these were the people I observed while in line. This one dude, we'll call him Mr. Grumpy Gills (that's for you, Kari), woke up on the wrong side of the bed and thus, yelled at nearly every customer that came in. At one point, a car came in the wrong way and wouldn't back up and Mr. Grumpy Gills said, "If you don't go back I will take the air out of your motor!" (I think he meant out of the tires...that's be interesting to see him take the air out of the whole car...) The driver, in typical Nigerian stubornness, refused to budge, incurring more threats from Mr. Grumpy-"I will remove your engine" and lots of angry waving of his hands, which happened to hold a wire fashioned into a whip. Seriously, I'm not making this up. Well, then there was Mr. Peacemaker, Mr. Grumpy's co-worker, who came over and mangaged to calm Grumpy down with the reasoning, "Look, if Mr.Stubborn doesn't want to move, he'll just have to sit in line and then we won't serve him when he gets up to the pump." SO Mr. Grumpy resentfully walks away yelling over his shoulder, "I will make you suffa when you reach here!" Meanwhile, this baturiya is scoping out the best way to escape should a fight break out. Apparently, the volatile personality of NIgerian men have sometimes given way to riots in the fueling stations. Then some genius will decide to strike a match...like I said, I planned my get-away early on. I'm happy to report the station did not go up in flames, although I'm not sure what became of Mr. Stubborn b/c I was in front of him in the que and took off as soon as I could.
Ahh...life in Nigeria.