Another Engagement

Spanning cultural, national, ethnic, and generational differences sits the celebration of marriage. Oh sure, it LOOKS very different, but the joining of two people and families is a big deal and I'm hard-pressed to think of a people group that doesn't give it special attention. I find the different customs absolutely fascinating. Just a couple weeks after my epic engagement, I was priviledged to be on the inside circle during two dear friends' "official" engagement. Now, Akim had proposed to Abigail the western way back in December, but nothing could be official unti he showed her family the money--the dowry. Of course, since its Nigeria, everything is done with pomp and pizazz. If you don't mind, allow me to share some of the highlights:
--Akim and his entourage arrived slightly tardy to Abigail's uncles house, so the Mamma emcee of the day demanded a "late fee" before they could enter. Seriously, everyone in the group had to drop bills into a bowl before they could pass through the gate.
--Contrary to what I thought for the majority of the ceremony, this mamma emcee was not a family relation, but makes her living by orchestrating these "engagement" parties. It is part of the Yoruba tradition
--Multiple times, Akim and his brother and uncles had to prostrate themselves down in front of Abigails side of the family, showing his devotion and desire towards them. At least three times for they did it "in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit."
--Symbolizes how his family would support him in the marriage, Akim was hoisted up by his brother & uncles and carried around the area
--Abigail watched most of the formalities from a bedroom window before she was lead out, head completely covered. Finally, she was paraded in with dancing (yours truly included in the train), unveiled and Akim had to confirm (monetarily) that his was indeed "the one" he desired.
--One of my favorite moments, was when both sets (of extremely reserved) parents were asked to face each other, and then dance towards each other "joining" the two families. Awkward turtle anyone??
--With all the loot Akim had to bring (jericans of palm oil, wrappers, a goat, salt, drinks, etc), Abigail was told to pick one item. I personally really wanted her to go for the goat, who looked trepidly around the whole time, anticipating his fate as tomorrow's dinner. BUT, Abigail being the honorable and godly woman that she is, chose the Bible. Still not sure if she really had an option. Anyways, tied onto the ribbon around the Bible was her and Akim's engagement rings.
--Abigail then had a few tasks to complete: putting Akim's hat on him (the first of many times she will dress him once they are married...wierd), giving him a kiss on the cheek (exemplifying the affection she will give him), and flashing her new ring before the crowd, affirming her pride in Akim's gift to her.
--Dancing, praying, money "spraying" (showing appreciation and support for people by putting money on their foreheads)(makes having a sweaty forehead a plus for it will stick and you'll look really cool)('spraying' has actually been outlawed by the government because it damages the bills when they fall to the ground and get danced on), and eating (of course) took up the rest of the ceremony.

Now, while I had a blast sharing in this moment with my friends, I'm ok with Andrew and myself not being embarrased in this way for our engagement. Then again, it would be amusing to watch Andrew prostrate himself before my family with all his groomsmen...perhaps it can be incorporated into our ceremony... :)

In a couple of weeks Abigail and Akim will be getting hitched, so look out for the blog for that one. Until then check out more pictures here of the engagement ceremony